Difference between revisions of "Talk:Illnesses"
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| − | The opening section, while descriptive and awesome, could really use shortening; there is much extrapolation and flowery speech that could be condensed to be more practical and to-the-point. In addition, the original opening paragraph described the way that "diseases", "disorders" and "injuries" do not represent in-game jargon, but are rather community-invented words, which is missing from this incarnation. — [[Image:Kuanti.png|link=User:Ividyon|Designer]] [[User:Ividyon|<span style="color:#d47c2b; font-weight: bold; text-shadow: 1px 1px 0px #000;">ividyon</span>]] ([[User talk:Ividyon|talk]]) 05:48, 10 February 2014 (MST) | + | The opening section, while descriptive and awesome, could really use shortening; there is much extrapolation and flowery speech that could be condensed to be more practical and to-the-point. In addition, the original opening paragraph described the way that "diseases", "disorders" and "injuries" do not represent in-game jargon, but are rather community-invented words, which is missing from this incarnation. |
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| + | Also, the nature of each type of illness has already been described in each category's opening statement; I'm not sure if this needs to be repeated in the introductory section. — [[Image:Kuanti.png|link=User:Ividyon|Designer]] [[User:Ividyon|<span style="color:#d47c2b; font-weight: bold; text-shadow: 1px 1px 0px #000;">ividyon</span>]] ([[User talk:Ividyon|talk]]) 05:48, 10 February 2014 (MST) | ||
Revision as of 12:51, 10 February 2014
Wording
The opening section, while descriptive and awesome, could really use shortening; there is much extrapolation and flowery speech that could be condensed to be more practical and to-the-point. In addition, the original opening paragraph described the way that "diseases", "disorders" and "injuries" do not represent in-game jargon, but are rather community-invented words, which is missing from this incarnation.
Also, the nature of each type of illness has already been described in each category's opening statement; I'm not sure if this needs to be repeated in the introductory section. — 
ividyon (talk) 05:48, 10 February 2014 (MST)
